Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
