I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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