i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Terrible idea I love it
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
