FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
