So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
