yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
