she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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