im gay
i know
yea but for you.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
