508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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