he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
