you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
