I wanna bring you to show and tell
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Randomize
