He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
