Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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