somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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