it wasn't lemon gatorade
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
