She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You made out with two different species that night
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
