are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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