So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
