we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
