smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
