Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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