...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize