porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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