i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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