is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
