It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
