Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
