if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
