Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize