Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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