I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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