just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I could have mohawked her pubes.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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