He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
