But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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