no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
