I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
