No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
