dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
