yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
two words: eviction party
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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