We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize