There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
there is glitter all over my balls
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
