too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
