i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
