Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
