someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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