hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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