My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
