What a fucking waste of an outfit
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
