I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
