Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
