My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize