whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
