but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize