Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
