he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
