I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
