I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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