So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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